“What’s every other option when I know the sweetest choice? My flesh may be a beggar but my spirit knows Your voice. And I won’t be satisfied with temporary pleasures. I wanna taste and see in full what I’ve only known in measure.”Maverick City Music’s “To You” (Maverick City, Vol. 3 Pt. 2)
Dear Support Team,
One of my biggest communication challenges is taking the depth of lessons that Jesus teaches me through life (its struggles and its joys) and translating them into words on a page, or even words spoken in conversation.
Is it ever possible to translate your heart’s language (its deepest longings, hopes, and hurts) into a message that another heart can understand, relate to, and process? Often it feels like there are so many levels of translation in the sharing and receiving of words where the true meaning can be lost.
I am convinced that there are heart truths that are impossible to convey. This is why I deeply cherish the Word of God when it says things like this:
- “Lord, you have examined my heart and know everything about me” (Psalm 139:1)
- “the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words” (Romans 8:26)
- “He has planted eternity in the human heart” (Ecclesiastes 3:11)
Yes, THIS is why I deeply cherish the Word and the comforting guidance of Holy Spirit… because He is a “kindred spirit“, as Anne Shirley would say: “A bosom friend — an intimate friend… a really kindred spirit to whom I can confide my innermost soul.”
I can trust that God speaks to all of His children in the Spirit: the same message in completely unique heart languages that only they can grasp and understand. Which means the pressure is not on me to communicate with perfect accuracy. Phew!!
Bearing that in mind, here’s a glimpse at some of my musings lately…
As our team prepares to end our 5-month School of Ministry Development (SOMD), my friends and I are returning to wildly different home situations, each with unique gifts and challenges. Through all the ups and downs, God is still a loving Father and He has lessons for each of us that have already been prepared in advance (Ephesians 2:10) for our months back home.
One of my favorite lessons from our Spring lectures was learning some of the Names of God. “Jehovah Jireh“: this is one of the more commonly known names of God, often translated as “The Lord will provide.” However, we learned in class that the meaning of this compound Hebrew word Yireh actually means something more like “The Lord who sees ahead of me.”
My detail-oriented self does not do well with the unseen and unknown. Not knowing exactly what the future holds is often a mixed bag of excitement and anxiety, good and bad. While it’s easy to focus on the excitement-side of things, I have to remember that there is still a fragile part of me that prefers to see the future because this allows me to plan ahead and be in control.
But because God is “The Lord who sees ahead of me,” there are some moments in life when I’m not the one with vision. Ah, the dreaded “waiting season.”
In many ways, I have been able to foresee my near future for the past 11 months. Since I have been attending 5-month schools, the “big-picture” plan of my life has been fairly predictable. My longest time back home has been 3 weeks, and the rest of the year has been filled with close discipleship, specific goals, and many structured lessons.
As I stand on the precipice of the last 4 months of this year, the only thing I know is this: come 2022, I will be starting a 2-year commitment to serve as a staff member at YWAM Orlando. God has given me specific dreams and vision for what He wants to do through me once the new year begins. But while I’m waiting, the road in between now and then are unpaved… unknown… untested! I am learning to rely on the Lord to direct every one of my steps (Proverbs 16:9).
As I look to Jesus for direction of each step, I am keenly aware that each “step” is a decision: how to spend my mornings, how to spend my nights. How to rest and how to work and plan. How to talk about my past and how to talk about my future! Many times it feels like compromise is so easy, and I feel the weight of the Lord’s call to fix my eyes on Him in this time of waiting, knowing that any compromise will only sell myself short. Each morning spent full of distraction, each “off” day spent under the haze of technology, each minute spent fretting about tomorrow as He patiently waits for me to come sit with Him (Luke 10:38-42) is time spent living less in His fullness and more out of my own lack.
It all starts with breathing You in…Steffany Gretzinger, “Save Me” (BLACKOUT)
After spending so much time away, 4 months at home seems daunting. I definitely feel like the door to the future has been opened and I am often tempted to rush ahead and start living in the future, where my vision and ministry will begin to take shape. God is also reminding me that with all the excitement for the future also comes anxiety and vulnerability, and I have to be so intentional about leaning on him, breathing and resting.
Each moment spent in the presence of God makes me feel more grounded, more alive. Because He has already understood me, there’s less pressure on others to “get me.” And as the beautiful and mysterious process of relationship takes place, I have more to share with others because I have found myself more completely in Him.
I thank God that so many problems are solved simply by gazing at Him and centering my life on the principles and truths that come alive when I meditate on His Word.
So if you got to the end of this post today, I encourage you to keep choosing The Sweetest Choice, which is the love of God that is revealed to us more and more each day as we grow in relationship with Him.
God bless you all!!
“The Lord is my chosen portion and my cup; you hold my lot….You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.”Psalm 16:5, 11